According to Undefining Motherhood, a mother is anyone who provides care to the world. Or, anyone who considers herself one. Simply put, being a mother is not a definition; it’s a feeling.
“You and everyone you know are going to be dead soon. And in the short amount of time between here and there, you have a limited amount of fucks to give. Very few, in fact. And if you go around giving a fuck about everything and everyone without conscious thought or choice—well, then you’re going to get fucked.”
― Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
If I had to rate the cancer experience, I would give it two stars. Now a days, if you see me in person, I will have a smile on my face and appear positive. It is not always easy to look happy. Feelings fluctuate often, and it is normal. However, these days it has been very hard. I feel super alone.
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After getting diagnosed, I felt a lot of shame and guilt. I felt alone. Scared. I did not want anyone to know because I thought it made me look weak. I did not want to talk about it because it did not feel real. However each day, I felt more and more detached from myself. Questioning how I got myself in this situation. Hating myself as I promoted physical and mental wellness as part of my “brand”. How can someone who works out all the time and teaches yoga, get sick? Well, cancer is one of those sneaky things.
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