New Beginnings
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou
Hi! It has been a while. It has been about a year since I last wrote. Prior to COVID-19, I was always on the go. My calendar would be full of appointments. My priority (at the time) was everyone else but me. I look back on some of my previous posts and before, I thought by helping others, I was doing the right thing. Or what I thought was the right thing. I love helping others. Need to talk about feelings or go for run? I am there! I love giving back to the community. Need help hauling trash from a park or to pull weeds from a farm? Sign me up! I did things for others. Not for myself. I put others first. Other people’s happiness and health. Growing up, my family taught me to lead with kindness. To think of others first before thinking of yourself.
In previous yoga classes I would remind people to take care of themselves first. People are like cell phones. We need time to physically and mentally recharge to be our best selves, however I had a hard time doing this myself.
During the time I took a break from writing, a lot had happened. There was a lot of growth, personally and professionally. In April 2021, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was surreal. The day the doctor told me, my heart felt like it stopped. I felt like I died right then and there. I felt like everything I did in life meant nothing. Maybe this was my karma. Maybe I deserved this. I felt so sad and felt so alone. I thought about writing during at the time but instead of being therapeutic, it felt stressful. I went to several doctors to get a second opinion on how to treat the cancer. Every single doctor told me the same thing - that my cancer was not genetic (I took several tests), my diet was always fairly good - it was my non-stop weekend and weekday warrior lifestyle that allowed cancer to come into my life.
After getting diagnosed, the doctor told me I had to get surgery to take out the tumor, then go through four rounds of chemotherapy, followed by six weeks of radiation. The surgery was the easy part. I had the best surgeon, Dr Nakashizuka who took that terrible thing out of me. Afterwards, I was so lucky to have a strong support group to take care of me. A special shout out to these amazing people:
The doctors and health care workers who helped with my surgery and treatments
My family and friends who reached out, thank you for all the calls , texts, gifts and positive energy
My yoga ohana (friends and clients) who reminded me that yoga practice is on the mat - but the most important is what we do off the mat. To listen to my heart and body. To treat my body with love and care.
I can never thank you all enough for your endless love. I feel so lucky to have so many people who helped me when I was at my weakest, physically and mentally.
As of now, I am still going through treatment. I start radiation this coming Wednesday. I hope with his second chance at life, I can give back, while taking care of myself. It is not easy - old habits are hard to break.
Maya Angelou’s quote (above) really resonated with me. I will never forget about the way people made me feel - and hope that I can pay it forward to others in the future.
