Cancer: Two Star Review
If I had to rate the cancer experience, I would give it two stars. Now a days, if you see me in person, I will have a smile on my face and appear positive. It is not always easy to look happy. Feelings fluctuate often, and it is normal. However, these days it has been very hard. I feel super alone. Note: I know I am very lucky as I have a lot of people who love and care about me. Family and friends do reach out. Regardless, sometimes, I get sad. I feel like getting cancer is my karma. That I deserved this. Loneliness is just one of the many reasons why cancer sucks. People say I look good and while it is kind, I feel disgusting. I feel so ugly. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I am reminding myself to be kind to myself. If anyone is reading this, thank you for holding time and space for me. These thoughts are just thoughts. Tomorrow It will be a new day and it will be great. Ever since I started my radiation treatment, my emotions are all over the place. Plus my skin is so sensitive. Cancer is the worst. Below is my honest assessment of cancer:
Positives:
Free hair cut
Free eyelash perm
Motivation to eat super clean
Ability to rest and relax
Caught up with Netflix
Time to self reflect
Weight loss
Negatives
Mental health issues
Body image issues
Everything tastes like metal
Cancer treatment is expensive (even with health insurance)
Always tired / low energy
People look at you different (esp when you lose your hair)
People treat you differently
Weight gain
Survivorship is difficult
Cancer sucks. If you or someone you know has cancer or is going through treatment, please be patient with them. Everyone’s needs are different. Asking “How can I support you” goes a long way. Each person will go through their own unique journey. Patience and love goes a long way.
“I cried like a baby. When no one could see me or hear me. Not because I feared what cancer would do, but because I didn’t want the disease. I wanted my life to be normal, which it could no longer be.” – Yuvraj Singh
