I started my blog in 2010 and for the longest time I have been trying to figure out my voice, my beat, how to best write this blog and how it represents me. The last few posts have been just photos mainly because I am afraid of writing. I have spent hours reading about how to improve your writing etc and even though I may not be the best writer, experts say it is all about practice. So here we go…
The Jerry Maguire Affect. Yep. Since the beginning of my communications/marketing career, I have always wanted to grow my reach/following/influence [insert buzzword here]. I felt it was important to my career along with who I was. I care about people. When I meet someone and get to know them, I want to connect and let them know that I will be there for them when they are in need. Of course this is a very silly and immature way of looking at relationships. It is impossible to connect with every single person and there are lots of people who will see this as a weakness and take advantage of it.
As I mature into my thirties, I have had time to reflect on my twenties. To review what worked, what hasn’t. What do I want to improve on? What is my next step? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? What do I want to be when I grow up?
Comments I have received from many people were
“…you need to focus on a small group of people. You spread yourself too thin.”
“…you are too attached to your phone. You are not present.”
“…you need to do what makes you happy, Jenn. For yourself, not anyone else.”
At the time, the comments were in one ear and out the other. I was too busy and focused on trying to make others happy and put them first. Growing up with F.O.B parents, that was the way to show your love. Sacrifice your own happiness and to put energy to those you love first. I have been very lucky to have met amazing people in my life and they have helped mentor me and coach me through some of the most difficult times in my life. The comments above were taken lightly at one time but the more I reflect, I realize that I need to take my own advice with the airplane affect.
(The airplane affect is when the plane drops the oxygen masks and instructions are put your own mask on first before helping anyone else. This is a metaphor I would share with others, explaining to them that, you need to take care of yourself first before anyone else)
It dawned on me that I need to pull back. Reprioritize and put myself first. Not in a selfish way but to make sure I am happy before trying to help someone else. Jerry Maguire did just that. For some, this movie was before your time. Jerry Maguire is a 1996 romantic comedy-drama. The main character Jerry Maguire had a life-altering epiphany about his role as a sports agent. He wrote a mission statement about perceived dishonesty in the sports management business and his desire to work with fewer clients so as to produce better quality. This movie (or at least the beginning) really inspired me. The focus on less is more. This is not to say I am going to ice people out of my life, but I need to really focus on myself, my goals and surround myself with those who will reciprocate friendship/love/loyalty.
The former Jenn would always say “I will always make time for you” to way too many people and would be unable to keep promises and felt stressed and unfulfilled. Recently I have been spending more time with myself. It is not easy as I always want to please everyone. For the first time in my life, I feel so much happier. It might sound selfish and I don’t want to make this post about pushing people away but rather that I want to deepen my relationships, be present. In turn I feel the result will be positive and I will be better wife/ daughter/sister/friend/ co-worker etc.
I do care about the friendships and relationships I have. I do believe caring and cultivating relationships are important. Thank you for taking time to read this and know that I am not changing for the worse but rather bettering myself to help those around me.
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world” – Gandhi